I have a lot of new readers and it's time we got to know each other better.

Hello beautiful people!

Today, I thought we’d do something a little different.

I have a lot of new readers and worthy followers and it’s time we do a little ‘get to know me’ exercise.

Catch up with The Day I Met My Hero and The Tale of the Heartbroken Au Pair.

We all know that I love writing about sex and taking diggs at the Husband (who doesn’t read my blog). We know I’m super messy and that I am part of the last generation of Yugoslavs.

But what stuff don’t you know about me?

Let’s see.

Talking about sex leaves me blushing

Yes!

You think that because I write about this stuff I’d love to talk to you about it to your face?

Please don’t talk to me about the vibrator review when you see me. I will cry.

WRONG!

It took me a decade to even be able to talk to the Husband about sex. I was a silent lover for many years in my life because I didn’t feel comfortable talking dirty. Like, “come on big boy, get it in there…”

EWWW! Stop it, this is not a porno!

We all know Dragana is a new addition to my life, and certainly she’s the one taking the reins on all the sex talk, but if you see me at the elevators at my work and wanna talk about the vibrator review I just did, please, don’t.

I love chocolate but I hate chocolate flavoured things

I love chocolate! No joke, two nights ago, I ate an entire block of a family size Cadbury Freddo chocolate by myself!

But chocolate mudcake, you can get the fuck out of here. Chocolate cookies? You too. Brownies, you are not exempt!

I hate you, brownies!

In fact, I hate sweets! If you ever want to impress me, don’t come at me with cupcakes because I will throw them out the window. What is icing even? It’s just spreadable sugar. Gross!

I love salty things, like any type of dried meat.

YUUUUM!

I love sour! I love pickled anything (except pickles themselves). Pickled cabbage, pickled onions, pickled eggplant – my mum makes a killer winter salad with pickled eggplant, I have some in my fridge right now, pickling away… mmmm.

I am literally salivating.

I hate musicals

I fucking HATE musicals.

My family is very musical – from my grandparents, right down to my parents and then me, even my kids – we all have a level of musical talent.

Here’s me and my dad and my step-brother. See – even my step family is talented!

But for someone who’s family is quite musical and who loves to sing and be surrounded by very specific vanilla flavoured music – I cannot stand music in film.

Before I had kids, I would fast forward songs in movies. Like, I get it, Simba can’t wait to be king, can we please move on? I don’t have the patience for that shit.

Except for A Star is Born, that got me real good. I cried about this movie for days after I saw it.

A Star Is Born – Image Credit: IMDb

I love to give people life advice

I like to think myself an unqualified counselor. I love hearing people’s problems and offering solutions.

You see, my life is rather drama free, which is just the way I like it. I have a lovely marriage, lovely kids, I mean everyone has some drama in their family, but mine is so minuscule, it doesn’t even warrant a mention.

I used to invite people to email me if they were having problems in school.

So you’d understand that I love to hear about other people’s drama! And reality TV! Gah, I’m a sucker!

But more so, I tend to bring my pedestal everywhere with me and preach life lessons.

Giving birth and scared? I have just the advice for you!

Never in the mood for sex but you know you’ve gotta give it up eventually – here are some cliche suggestions to improve your sex life!

Having daddy or mummy issues and don’t know how to deal with it? Yep, I have advice about that too!

When the internet was first created back in the 90’s and Hotmail accounts were actually hot, I started a little forum called ‘School Can Be Cruel’ and I used to invite people to email me if they were having problems in school.

I remember a 14 year old girl writing to me and telling me that she’s been badly bullied by the same people since primary school and she didn’t know how to make it stop. We had a few exchanges back and forth and ultimately I told her that she may never change the way those people perceive her but if she moved schools, she could start over and meet new people who wouldn’t carry that view of her around with them.

I was 11.

I don’t know if she took my advice but I’m pretty sure she lived happily ever after.

I have dreams as big as Arnold Schwarzenegger

I have always felt like there’s something big out there waiting for me.

I know lots of people feel like that, but I really feel it.

I feel that whatever I’m doing now is just working towards the big thing that will take me to many places and show me the world I so wish to see.

And now that I have a family and young daughters, I’m even more determined to see this big thing and live out the dreams that have been chasing me since childhood.

I’m like the little boy dreaming of becoming a world-class bodybuilder. And I watch this video often to remind me to work my ass off and think big!

The thing is, if Arnold could come from post-war Austria and become the governor of California, SURELY I could get a job that allows me to travel the world, doing the thing I love, with my family in tow, living and traveling in luxury. Surely!

Which by the way, if anyone needs a travel writer that they’ll pay lots of money for funny opinions, you know where to find me.

Your turn!

Those were just a few fun facts about me to help us get to know each other. Now it’s your turn!

Tell me – what are some fun facts about you?

Thanks for stopping by ya’ll, please join the conversation and remember – don’t be a dick!

Love, always,

B.

Author: Billi Milovanovic

Billi, A.K.A Bildo, is a freelance writer and she has loved writing since Hotmail accounts were cool – her 15 childhood diaries will attest to that. She’s birthed a couple of little Bildo’s, been with her adoring Husband for over a decade and they would describe themselves about as happy as clams can be. Not that that means he reads this blog – although he really should, seeing as he features in it quite frequently.