These are the only two suggestions you'll need this year.

♥♥ Happy Valentines Day Lovers ♥♥

That’s right, another year, another Valentines Day, another marketing ploy to get you to buy cheesy shit in a rush because you totally forgot how special your wife wants to be treated on the day. 

Catch up with Sex and Marriage: 5 Reasons They Are a Match Made in a Celibate Heaven and Happy Husband, Happy Life.  

And before I start, I want to put it out there that I don’t judge you if you love V’Day. 

If you want to send your wife to work in a hot air balloon today, then by all means, go for it. 

If you want to bury your husband in flower petals and spell out kind words with ear buds on the bed, that’s cool too. 

No dramas – you do you. 

Personally, I don’t like Valentine’s Day or societal pressures. 

The pressure is real

What I don’t like about Valentine’s Day is the pressure. The pressure you put on yourself to get something for your other half and the pressure you put on them to do something special for you. 

Be honest – you don’t wait for Valentines Day with excitement to gift that special thing you’ve been planning. Chances are, you’re nervous, stressed and rushed.

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Hurry up Hubby!

And then if you do something grand and extravagant, man oh man, are you setting yourself up for the rest of your life! Then you’ll always have to go bigger and grander and better and redder. 

But if you don’t want to go down that route or if you’re out of ideas because you’re married with kids – and also an adult – then I have the only two V’Day suggestions you’ll need that you can use over and over and over and over…

Paint the town red…

If you’re fortunate enough to secure that babysitter or have older kids who can fend for themselves, then get your glam on and hit the town!

(And I know you’re rolling your eyes at the suggestion cause it’s pretty obvious, but obvious doesn’t mean you’ll actually do it, so I still feel the need to tell you.) 

Do something just for the two of you, get pretty and get out. Put on the special dress, shine your shoes and reconnect through eye contact and copious amounts of alcohol. Go see a show, eat some food, go dancing.

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Dance with your love… 

Because what’s more romantic than having your husband sweep you off your feet with his mad dance moves? And exploring the city you live in whilst rediscovering new bars and restaurants that have opened up since you became parents?

Or better yet, book a night away and get yourself a full nights sleep – that shit is romantic af.

The Husband and I have been doing this for years. Instead of spending money on things we don’t need, we save it and book a little getaway. 

And you don’t have to do it on the day itself! You can make your wife a voucher or note that says:

Happy V’Day, honey buns,

This year (in April), I booked a night away in some swanky hotel for us to enjoy. 

The massage is on you! 

Love, 

Your darling, clever husband. 

And when she opens the envelope, sit back and watch the brownie points roll in! 

Bedroom Picnic

This is an age old favourite of me and the Husband. 

For years, before we had kids, a house and grown up clothes, we used to roll out a towel at the end of our bed, spread our dinner out and feast like kings. 

Then we would roll ourselves back on to the bed and get down and dirty. 

So my second suggestion is a bedroom picnic!

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Bed Spread

All you will need is some platter food, you know, cheese, dips, salami, crackers… whole cucumbers… 

And don’t forget the slippery ingredients that will magically and sexily make their way into your love making that evening.

Note: You might want to put towels all over your bed before the food play. 

Another Note: Make sure the kids are asleep and put that tie on that door handle.

Last note, promise: Maybe don’t use pate as your slippery ingredient, that gets weird.

Just love…

But ultimately, if you must elevate and celebrate V’Day, just show some love for each other.

Put down your phone and look directly at your sweetheart. Talk about things that have nothing to do with parenthood. Focus on the person you married and not the one that didn’t stack the dishwasher like you keep insisting.

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Smoochies

The best thing you can do is love them by paying them attention because it’s easy to get lost in kids and chores and work and the internet.

So enjoy, lovers, and remember – don’t be a dick – especially not today. Hope you feel as special as you are this V’Day!

Love and kisses and xx’s and oo’s

Billi

Author: Billi Milovanovic

Billi, A.K.A Bildo, is a freelance writer and she has loved writing since Hotmail accounts were cool – her 15 childhood diaries will attest to that. She’s birthed a couple of little Bildo’s, been with her adoring Husband for over a decade and they would describe themselves about as happy as clams can be. Not that that means he reads this blog – although he really should, seeing as he features in it quite frequently.