If you want to get some, you gotta give some...

Ahh, sex. The most pleasurable act on earth and the thing most couples fight about on the daily.

Catch up with The Secret to Great Long Term Relationship Sex and Empowering Women One Elixir at a Time.

Men complain that women don’t put out enough… women complain that they’re constantly being nagged to put out – it’s a viscous cycle and one that no one enjoys.

And I know us women are difficult. I know there are days when most of us in long term relationships would rather shave our eyeballs than get naked and get going.

But what if we weren’t so negative about sex? What if we looked forward to it? What if men started to pleasure women in other ways to get to the pot of gold that is their wife’s vagina?

What if…?

What women really want

It’s really, very simple – women want romance. We want The Notebook, we want someone to be crazy in lust with us, we want you to build us a house and paint the window shutters blue.

We want you to kiss us in the rain…

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Noah and Ally after she sees her house and all that | Image Credit: Bustle

I get it, I understand that seems like we’re asking too much.

And frankly, if the Husband he took me outside to kiss me in the rain, I would be like “Yo, this is not necessary, could you just clean the floors please?”

But if you want your woman to want you, to sex you, to wait in anticipation for the evening of pleasure that awaits her, read on, gents.

How to get to a woman’s heart

Women have about a billion things going through their heads at all times.

From sorting out the children (or pets), to work commitments; from keeping the household running, to keeping track of the finances; from laundry to floors to dishes – it is an endless list of shit that needs to happen and it won’t happen unless women make it happen.

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I’m not saying that men don’t help out. God knows in today’s society, men are no longer the cigar smoking assholes expecting a warm dinner on the table when they get home from work – thanks to the right kind of bra burning feminists, not the crazy kind.

But women still find themselves the epicenter of house and home and so all women really want at the end of the day is not to suck dick. They just want to relax.

Men are relentless and bless them but they try and try, hitting their heads against a brick wall over and over.

So gentlemen, I’m here to help you out. Because if you wanna get some, you gotta give some.

Foreplay is not fondling our boobs

Listen close…

Foreplay for a woman is not someone playing with her boobs while they try and watch TV. Foreplay to a woman is much more complex than that. Foreplay consists of reducing the amount of random shit on a woman’s mind and creating a sex worthy environment.

Men, you have to be savvy about how you approach a woman for sex but it’s okay, I got you.

First, you gotta do some leg work.

Draw your woman a bath. Fill that motherfucking tub with some bath salts and flowers. Give her a surprise.

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If you don’t have a tub, that’s ok, you have hands.

Give her a massage – and don’t get handsy! We can sense when you want sex and we don’t want to feel like you’re earning brownie points for your penis. We want to know you’re treating us, being nice to us, giving us some loving without asking for anything in return.

But when that massage is over, the work begins. Because if you have been in a relationship for a long time, you’re bound to have forgotten that a woman needs to be turned on, we don’t have a button in our ballsack that sends sex-lectricity through us. In fact, we don’t have a nutsack at all!

So, kisses all over the body are a good start. You can even get your 40 Days and 40 Nights on and get a flower.

The real action starts at 2 minutes | Video Credit: YouTube

Your options are endless, but the advice here is pay some attention. Work your way to what you want by understanding what your woman wants.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – candles, gentlemen, candles! Music too. These are simple little things you can do that will add to the ambiance.

And your final act is to go downtown and pleasure the life out of your woman. Once you’ve set the mood, become the Ryan Gosling your woman needs to you be, get down there and get to work.

Be gentle and start slow. I don’t think l I need to tell you how to carry this next part out, but I’m happy to hold some lessons with some oranges if you really need…

When we receive, we like to give

It shouldn’t be all work and no play for you (although I trust that pleasuring your woman is the biggest reward of all) but a happy woman, a horny woman, is no longer your loving, long term partner.

She’s a vixen!

…she will feel the pleasure and never want to let it go.

Every one of us has a sexy alter ego – there’s a bit of Dragana in each of us.

Your job is to draw her out. And once she’s there, the mess of the house, the shopping list, the life duties that surround your woman will disappear and she will be her own sex goddess; she will feel the pleasure and never want to let it go.

That is, if you do your job right.

It may take some practice, so make sure you do as much of the pampering and loving as possible.

Ladies – you’re welcome.

Gents – you too.

Tell me – do you have any secrets for getting the mood right?

B.

Author: Billi Milovanovic

Billi, A.K.A Bildo, is a freelance writer and she has loved writing since Hotmail accounts were cool – her 15 childhood diaries will attest to that. She’s birthed a couple of little Bildo’s, been with her adoring Husband for over a decade and they would describe themselves about as happy as clams can be. Not that that means he reads this blog – although he really should, seeing as he features in it quite frequently.